And the Heart Is Hard to Translate
by the silence in between
Summary: She cannot understand this strange moisture that clings to her eyes, partially blurring her vision.  The Queen reveals her true colors.  Spoilers for episode 1.11.  Regina/Genie, sort of.


**Author's Note** — So, the moment that Sidney told Emma that he used to think that Regina was a different person, I just _knew_ that Queen Regina (and oh, am I disappointed that the Evil Queen's name is also Regina! I mean, it's not like I've spent hours poring over baby name websites searching for girls' names meaning _apple_ or anything) was already in the Secretly Evil stage of her life. Still, Lana Parrilla is a flawless goddess who makes me feel many unexpected things about a mass-murdering rapist, and I kept thinking _why does this all have to be a lie, ugh_, and then came the big reveal... and now I'm not entirely convinced that it _was_ all a lie. I mean, Regina definitely played him, but in that last scene she just looked like she was about to cry to me, even when the genie wasn't looking, so I've developed this alternate interpretation to the events of 1.11. As you might suspect, getting into Regina's head is a daunting and often frightening task, and I'm not quite sure if I've done her justice here. As always, I'd love your feedback. :)

**Disclaimer —** _Once Upon a Time_ is the property of ABC and Horowitz/Kitsis. Lines of dialogue are taken from the episode "Fruit of the Poisonous Tree", which was written by Ian Goldberg and Andrew Chambliss. The title of this story comes from the Florence + the Machine song "All This and Heaven Too". I make no claim to ownership of _any_ of the aforementioned works, nor do I make any profit, monetary or otherwise, from the publication of this story.

* * *

><p>She cannot understand this strange moisture that clings to her eyes, partially blurring her vision. That the genie has only now uncovered her plot is proof that he is nothing more than the pathetic lamb that she had originally marked him to be. Still, it takes her a moment to erase all traces of tenderness from her face before she turns to meet his accusatory stare.<p>

"Loved you? I wanted the king killed, and you killed him," she says, and she's never had to consciously inject her voice with ice like this before. "You are no longer of any use to me. Be grateful I'm offering you an escape. Now flee the kingdom and never turn back."

Briefly, she wonders why she _is _offering him an escape. The original plan had been to leave him to the mercy of the palace guards, who would have executed him on the spot, but the thought of their blade against his throat...

The genie just looks at her so helplessly, as if she's taken the world from him and left him with only the cold, dark emptiness of space. "I can't live without you," he says, and the look in his eyes is all too familiar. Something finally clicks in her mind. "I won't live without you."

"Did you not understand me?" she cries, her chest aching. Once, maybe, there could have been something between them, something beautiful instead of twisted and false, but love tore Regina to shreds long ago, and she traded love for power without a second thought. This man has shown her more kindness and devotion in twenty-four hours' time than Leopold ever did in thirteen years of marriage, and she wants... more, but she has nothing to give in return, and his continued presence will only ruin a decade of tireless scheming. She deals the finishing blow as painfully as possible: "I don't love you. There is no way we will ever be together."

Then the genie pulls out his lamp, and everything freezes; the world seems to shift and revolve around the single wish cradled in his hands. Fear strikes her heart, makes her stomach heave with nausea, because _this_ is why she banished _love _from her being. _Love_ kept her up late at night while her parents fought over the mill and the finances and her potential suitors; _love_ got her locked away in a dungeon filled with molding straw for three days while the threat of her execution dangled over her head as heavily as a physical sword; _love_ killed the only pure thing in her life, robbing her of all joy and hope. Now the genie, out of his undying _love_ for her, will destroy her with just one wish, and there's not a spell that she can cast fast enough to stop him.

He stares at her with such yearning in his eyes that her stomach clenches, then begins to speak clearly and passionately. "I wish to be with you forever, to look upon your face always, to never leave your side."

She gasps quietly, her eyes fully welling up with tears, as the genie vanishes in a cloud of smoke. No matter how she tries, she can't quite wrap her head around what has just happened. He'd had the opportunity to doom her, to make her his eternal slave, and yet all that he'd wished… was to be with her? It makes no sense; she cannot understand _why_ he would want _her_. She's but a dark shadow of the vibrant, vivacious girl she used to be; there is no longer anything about her that isn't hideous and repulsive, that anyone could love. She can't understand what he sees inside of her that he wants so badly, and _that_, above all else, terrifies Regina the most.

The genie's muffled cries echo throughout the room, and she looks around frantically until she spots a flash of something strange in her mirror. Her other hand flies to her mouth in horror as she realizes the form that his wish has taken. She's about to throw the mirror to the floor and use every last ounce of magic that she possesses to destroy it when the beauty of the situation hits her. The genie will always be with her, full of love and adoration to sustain her, but he can never touch her. He can never hurt her. He can never leave her.

"Well, it looks like you got your wish," she smiles, in part at the genie's misfortune and in part at what this means for herself. "You will be with me... _forever_."

The genie's wish may not have been granted in quite the way that he had hoped, but his sacrifices have just given Regina everything she ever wanted. Happiness is now only a heartbeat away.


End file.
